Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Velvet People in a Sandpaper World

Posted on June 14th, 2009 in Grace, People Skills, Relationships | 2 Comments »

Press the arrow to listen to “Your Love Never Fails” with Chris Quilala from Jesusculture.org.

This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.

Scripture
Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Philippians 4:5

Observation
Some people greet with sandpaper. Their life is gritty and abrasive that makes for friction. They start every relationship on the offense. They will hurt others before they can be hurt. Their lives are sprinkled with the grit of harshness, impatience, selfishness, exactness, inconsideration, unreasonableness. Rarely does one person have all of that abrasive sand stuck on one personality, but even just a grain or two can make it feel as if they are working against others rather than with them.

There are sandpaper days for all of us. Maybe we were irritated by someone else on the way in and so on the way out we rub others the wrong way. Or the grit can be more deeply imbedded into our personality. Some past season of hurt has left us with a rough surface that grinds at the worst possible moment.

How can we change? One simple thing: just remember that Jesus is watching and listening. That changes everything. I read about the president of a great company who was hiring new executives. He was intentionally late to test the applicants. One high-powered hot-shot, belittled the secretary in the front office no matter how kind she was to him. When the president later arrived and the interview was in full swing, the secretary stepped into the office and the boss introduced her. “Have you met my wife?” He didn’t hire the young man that day.

If some people greet with sandpaper, then others come with velvet. The “gentle spirit” described here is a rich word that takes a paragraph to explain. Here is the bullet-point list:

patient
unselfish
forbearing
reasonable
considerate
on the side of others
seeing life from their point of view
working with them and not against them
not enforcing rights
refraining and restraining
extending deadlines
stretching due dates

This gentleness implies more than being nice, it means taking another person’s side and making life fit them well.

Application
Meekness is a vulnerable way to live. It is not that we might be taken advantage of, we will be. But because the Lord is near there are rewards that no human being can ever give. When I want to wear a suit of sandpaper, may I dress in velvet. May others who brush up against me feel the softness of grace.

Prayer
Jesus, you are gentle of heart and so others find rest for their souls near you. Let me be a rest-stop in a rush hour world. Wrap me up in velvet and turn me loose today. Amen.

My Salty Friend

Posted on February 25th, 2009 in Communion, Friends, God's Love, Relationships | No Comments »

Press the arrow to listen to Israel Houghton lead “Friend of God” while reading today’s devotion on God’s intimate friendship with you.

This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.

Scripture
“All the offerings of the holy gifts, which the sons of Israel offer to the Lord, I have given to you and your sons and your daughters with you, as a perpetual allotment It is an everlasting covenant of salt before the Lord to you and your descendants with you.” Numbers 18:19

Observation
I’m curious, so the phrase “covenant of salt” grabbed my attention and dragged me through the internet to find out what it means. The words conjured up pictures of holy rituals in sacred cloisters with a salt shaker. I wanted to know more.

I learned that salt is a preservative that makes things last forever. If in doubt, ask a mummy. The Egyptians preserved bodies in natron, a salt compound scraped from dry desert lakes. Salt is to be a symbol of an eternal relationship with God to last forever. Of course this is not us first to him, but him first to us.

It gets better. Salt, apparently, was a key ingredient among friends. Even among the Arabs, close friends say, “There is salt between us.” Salt became a symbol of enduring friendships. At at special meals, friends would make covenants with each other over their meal and sprinkle salt liberally to underscore their covenant.

And it gets even better yet. God gave to the priests of Aaron all of the meat brought to the temple as offerings. He said that this meat was theirs to eat along with salt. Here’s the cool part: it would be for them as if they were sitting at a table with God as their best friend, and the Almighty himself would enter into a covenant of close friendship with them forever.

Application
The thought of God salting some grilled steaks and sharing them with me in intimate friendship is a disarmingly kind thought. That he would stoop to honour me with a salt covenant is more than I deserve. But it is everything that I want from him. And yes, it gets way better yet, because through this meal I become the salt of the earth. I keep my saltiness by keeping my intimate connection with the Father. His friendship savouring me, is what flavours every human relationship that I enjoy. I am the salt of the earth because I’ve received the seasoned meal of friendship with God Almighty. God in Christ has offered himself to me as my very best friend.

Prayer
Father, I hunger for a salt meal with you. I want this friendship with you that you describe here for the priests of old. Peter says I’m in the priesthood now, so surely Aaron’s sons would not have enjoyed more than I can today. So I take every gift from you as a salt covenant, a symbol of your enduring friendship with me. Help me to be something of the friend back to you for all of the unreserved and undeserved friendship that you’ve given to me. Amen.

As One

Posted on June 12th, 2008 in Relationships, Subumission | No Comments »

Press the arrow to listen to Kari Jobe sing “Though I Am Not Worthy”

This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.

Scripture
[Be] of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; Philippians 2:2-3

Observation
Paul had high expectations: that his multi-cultural church would have one purpose. His church was full of Jews as well as Gentiles, Romans as well as Greeks and Macedonians, slave as well as free, and military as well as civilian. This was Philippi, a Roman colony in Greece filled with retired army officers. Yet Paul called for one purpose.

How can a leader of any group hope for one mind among many?

The secret is found in the next sentence.

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves.

He called these people to a new level of maturity. He did not ask them to be selfless but to recognize that at the core they were selfish. He did not ask them to stop be conceited, but to recognize that at the core they were self-centered. Once they would recognize their selfishness and conceit they could then make a second choice: not to respond to it.

Each of us is to one degree or another selfish and conceited. We like things our way and think of ourselves if not better than others, then at least not worse than most. Maturity comes not when all selfishness and conceit is purged from me, but when I choose to see it and not respond to it.

Paul showed another way: humility. Selfishness and conceit exist only when look at ourselves in the mirror; humility comes when we look others in the eye. Each human being we meet is crafted in the image of God out of the dust of the earth. We are surrounded by divines who struggle, like we do, with the dust of their character. This calls on one had for profound respect of others, to listen, to value, and to engage. On the other hand, it calls for great tolerance as we see the faults in others that are also in us.

Application
The bottom line is that we really need each other and we need to set up each other for success.

Prayer
Father, I make the choice today to see each person I meet as more important than myself. Amen.

Stop Living with the Uncomfortable

Posted on May 7th, 2008 in Forgiveness, Relationships | No Comments »

This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.
Press the arrow to listen to Rebecca St. James sing “Forgive Me”.

Scripture
But the king gave this order: “Absalom may go to his own house, but he must never come into my presence.” 2 Samuel 14:24

Observation
Just as lightning will search for a ground to discharge its energy, so too every brewing storm of personal relationship searches for resolution. The pent up static electricity of human conflict will eventually discharge. Our choice is not if it will but where it will. Will there be a lightning strike with loss of life and property or will there be a lightning rod to safely divert the energy to a safe grounding?

King David learned to live with unresolved relationship conflict. As a result, the brewing clouds built up their charge of ions. When his son raped his sister, David did nothing. When another brother murdered the guilty one, David did nothing. When Absalom worked the crowding in the waiting room, David did nothing. David lost his throne, his wives and his son because he tried to be comfortable with uncomfortable relationships.

Closure in relationships is the choice to sit face to face with people who make us feel uncomfortable and to fix issues. There may be reconciliation or there may not be. What we can be certain of, the electrical charge of conflict will safely discharge. But left unaddressed, relationship conflict will only build into something destructive.

Application
It is easier to look the other way than to look eye to eye and to bring closure. But the choice to have healthy families and organizations is the decision to close one season so we can move on into the next one.

Prayer
Father, help me today not to avoid that which needs to close. Help me to deal with the intray of relationships. Amen.

O Jesus May You Walk Through Me

Posted on April 25th, 2008 in Direction, God's Presence, God's Voice, God's Will, Relationships | No Comments »

This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.
Press the arrow to listen to Mercy Me sing “I Can Only Imagine” while reading today’s devotion

Scripture

“Anyone who isn’t with me opposes me, and anyone who isn’t working with me is actually working against me.” Matthew 12:30

Observation

What Christian would want to be known as someone who works against Jesus?
Who would want to be known as someone who stands in the way?
Who would want to be responsible for uprooting what Jesus has planted?
Worst of all, would want to be someone who picks a fight with the Lord?

Who would do such a thing? The answer is anyone who forgets the word “with”. It is just a four letter preposition, but living with the word “with” makes all the difference. There is a subtle temptation to go on our own, even if we have followed Christ for some time. Perhaps a prayer is answered and we say, “Thanks for the help, I’ll take over from here.” Maybe we hear the voice of the Shepherd calling and we answer “just a minute.” The degree of separation is slight but substantial, for just a few degrees of separation now can mean hundreds of miles of distance on the future flight path.

Leslie and I walk two German Shorthaired Pointers at night. Lucy is seasoned with age and knows to heel without being told. Jose, however, beats with a puppy’s heart. The world is so interesting and she soon forgets the master’s voice. Normally, Lucy walks on the left and Jose on the right with Leslie and I in the middle. But I experimented the other day by putting the dogs in the middle and Leslie and I on the outside. The measured stride of the old dog Lucy settled the rambunctious young dog Jose. Something of one rubbed off on the other.

I find one of the best ways to remember to keep close to Jesus is to journey with those who have learned to lean well on the Lord. There is a scampering puppy inside of me; I like the old dogs that keep me close to Jesus. There is something about their spirit, that without spoken word, seems to say, “Stay close.”

Every Thursday I receive a phone call from my old friend Larry. Larry is a Berle Ives lookalike, with a cheerful laugh and a warming smile that reaches right into the core of his being. The cadence of his voice, even more than the words that he speaks, set a pace for me in his phone calls that keep me close to Jesus. I hope, one day, to become an old dog myself who steadies others on their journey.

I think Lucy knows the secret of walking with Jesus, but she’s not telling. It’s something about seeing my life as an extension of the Master’s walk, for though Lucy never looks up, I somehow sense she is with me heart and soul as we walk along the road. She is not distracted by birds or passing dogs. She’s with the master and that is enough.

Application
It was James Thurber who wrote about the dog who walked his master. There are so many times I am calling to Jesus and asking him to follow me instead of waiting to follow him. My journey is really the Lord’s journey; if I am to be with him I need to let him walk through me.

Prayer
Jesus, keep me close. Amen.

Bait that Catches Fishermen

Posted on April 17th, 2008 in Discipleship, Evangelism, God's Call, Meaning of Life, Ministry, Relationships | No Comments »

This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.

Press the arrow to listen to Casting Crowns sing Love Them Like Jesus while you read today’s devotion.

Scripture
Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” And they left their nets at once and followed him. Matthew 4:19-20

Observation
What kind of bait will catch fishermen? With one sentence, Jesus managed to persuade small businessmen to shut up shop and trek with him. What kind of lure did he pull from his vest?

Jesus didn’t use the fly we’d expect. Something along the line of “follow-me-and-I’ll-make-you-the-best-you-that-you-can-be” I think would be very appealing. However, Jesus did not use any self-development pitch. He pulled a surprise from his fishin’ bag.

Jesus offered the disciples the secret of changing others. That was all it took; they were hooked. I’m left staggered by the simplicity and selflessness of the call of Jesus. The call to follow Christ isn’t about me, it’s about changing others through my life. Of course, I will be changed in the process, but improving my life is not what discipleship is about. The heart of discipling is to make a difference in the life of another human being for all eternity. If that doesn’t appeal to me, then I’m not worthy of Christ, yet why wouldn’t it be attractive?

Application
If I were to offer to the public an indelible writing surface, on which any message could be etched to endure for ages, many would be interested.
It would not weather like the Sphinx,
or burn like the library books of Alexandria,
or topple like tombstones,
or fade like pencil,
or bleed like ink,
or crash like a computer,
or erase like a memory stick,
or crack like a CD.
No graffiti artist can obscure it,
nor army can bomb it,
nor flood, storm or fire can remove its memory forever.
Whatever is written on this surface will make an author’s words immortal.

Where is a permanent surface like this to be found? It is on the human heart, of course. Any word spoken for Christ and received by a child of God will last forever. Any change in a human life for Christ will be taken to heaven for eternity. This is why becoming a follower of Christ is so alluring, for only Christ-followers can do works that last forever.

Prayer
Father, this sounds like a very good deal. I’ll follow you Jesus into to crowd; let’s get going. Amen.

Bully, Policeman or Counselor?

Posted on January 17th, 2008 in Family, Forgiveness, Injustice, Kindness, Relationships | No Comments »

This video was embedded using the YouTuber plugin by Roy Tanck. Adobe Flash Player is required to view the video.

Observation
God gave Joseph overwhelming privileges. He was on the top floor of the pyramids, so to speak. How he used the power God gave him tells us everything about the stages of his heart.

Forgiving family who had sold him to slave traders was not a snap decision. In some way it is comforting to read Joseph’s struggle to forgive because it gives us elbow room to work through our own forgiveness challenges.

Joseph went through three stages until he was ready to reconcile.

First, Joseph used the platform of success to become a bully.

Genesis 42:8-9 Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they didn’t recognize him. And he remembered the dreams he’d had about them many years before. He said to them, “You are spies! You have come to see how vulnerable our land has become.”

Under the Egyptian headdress and makeup he was still just Joey, but he would never let his brothers know that vulnerable information. He stared them down with steely resentment. He would make them do jail time just like he did. At the Bully Stage we can use the grace of God to get back at others who have harmed us. Of course we will not be forgiven if we do not forgive, but thankfully the Lord does not rush but gives us time to come to a better frame of mind.

Second, Joseph became a police man.

Genesis 42:17-18 So Joseph put them all in prison for three days. On the third day Joseph said to them, “I am a God-fearing man. If you do as I say, you will live.

Evidently God had spoken to Joseph over the three days and touched his heart. His words were not prickling with revenge now. There was a softness about him. But still he was not ready to reconcile with his brothers. That would take more time. At the Policeman Stage, we may not want to harm people, but we do want to teach them a lesson. Instead of entrusting God to deal with our enemies we speed things up a little.

Finally, Joseph became a counselor.

Genesis 45:1-5 selected Joseph could stand it no longer. There were many people in the room, and he said to his attendants, “Out, all of you!” So he was alone with his brothers when he told them who he was. Then he broke down and wept. “I am Joseph!” he said to his brothers. “Is my father still alive? Please, come closer,” he said to them. But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives.

Instead of confronting his brothers, he consoled them. What a dramatic change from the bully just a few months before. Joseph was now comforting those who had harmed him.

Application
It is easy to relate to the stages of Bully and Policeman, but to think that we could one day console those who had harmed us may be too much to contemplate. But such is the grace of Jesus. If I am to be a Christ follower, then I must be prepared for unusual changes God will bring to my heart. Such is the miracle of forgiveness. I will pass through stages of forgiveness, but I am not to remain paralyzed in any of them.

Prayer
Father, there are times I find it comfortable to be a bully and a policeman, but I open my heart to be surprised to find myself one day being a counselor to console those who have harmed me. Amen.