Deeper Still by phil mccallum

Observation
God gave Joseph overwhelming privileges. He was on the top floor of the pyramids, so to speak. How he used the power God gave him tells us everything about the stages of his heart.

Forgiving family who had sold him to slave traders was not a snap decision. In some way it is comforting to read Joseph’s struggle to forgive because it gives us elbow room to work through our own forgiveness challenges.

Joseph went through three stages until he was ready to reconcile.

First, Joseph used the platform of success to become a bully.

Genesis 42:8-9 Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they didn’t recognize him. And he remembered the dreams he’d had about them many years before. He said to them, “You are spies! You have come to see how vulnerable our land has become.”

Under the Egyptian headdress and makeup he was still just Joey, but he would never let his brothers know that vulnerable information. He stared them down with steely resentment. He would make them do jail time just like he did. At the Bully Stage we can use the grace of God to get back at others who have harmed us. Of course we will not be forgiven if we do not forgive, but thankfully the Lord does not rush but gives us time to come to a better frame of mind.

Second, Joseph became a police man.

Genesis 42:17-18 So Joseph put them all in prison for three days. On the third day Joseph said to them, “I am a God-fearing man. If you do as I say, you will live.

Evidently God had spoken to Joseph over the three days and touched his heart. His words were not prickling with revenge now. There was a softness about him. But still he was not ready to reconcile with his brothers. That would take more time. At the Policeman Stage, we may not want to harm people, but we do want to teach them a lesson. Instead of entrusting God to deal with our enemies we speed things up a little.

Finally, Joseph became a counselor.

Genesis 45:1-5 selected Joseph could stand it no longer. There were many people in the room, and he said to his attendants, “Out, all of you!” So he was alone with his brothers when he told them who he was. Then he broke down and wept. “I am Joseph!” he said to his brothers. “Is my father still alive? Please, come closer,” he said to them. But don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives.

Instead of confronting his brothers, he consoled them. What a dramatic change from the bully just a few months before. Joseph was now comforting those who had harmed him.

Application
It is easy to relate to the stages of Bully and Policeman, but to think that we could one day console those who had harmed us may be too much to contemplate. But such is the grace of Jesus. If I am to be a Christ follower, then I must be prepared for unusual changes God will bring to my heart. Such is the miracle of forgiveness. I will pass through stages of forgiveness, but I am not to remain paralyzed in any of them.

Prayer
Father, there are times I find it comfortable to be a bully and a policeman, but I open my heart to be surprised to find myself one day being a counselor to console those who have harmed me. Amen.

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Scripture

Then Jacob made a vow, saying, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s house, then the LORD will be my God. Genesis 28:20-21Observation
Three times in his prayer Jacob used the word “if”. “If” he said, “if…if…then.” It was an iffy prayer. Jacob would not call the Lord his God until God had proved himself.

His attitude was very different from his grandpa Abraham. Abraham followed promises not explanations. Jacob wanted evidence first. I’ve heard it said that by the third generation after a great religious revival that the grandchildren of those who were saved in the revival build successful lives but have little interest in a heartfelt relationship with the Lord. The first generation know the Lord face to face. The second know the Lord through obligations and rituals. The third generation glean all the benefits of godly living in education and business but they leave the Lord behind.

Unless first a child, or grandchild, loses his parent’s faith and finds his own. Jacob was on a journey that would do just that. He would be swindled, wrestled, and hassled, but years later he would return to Bethel and acknowledge the Lord as his own God.

But he could have taken a better road back to Bethel if he had inverted his prayer. He could have prayed:

Since the Lord is my God, I trust him to watch over me, to give me what I need to live and to bring me safely back home. Abraham lived life that way and could know God as his friend. Jacob prayed iffy prayers and didn’t even know God’s name.

Application
I want to scrub the word “if” from my prayers. It annoyed Jesus. He said, “‘If you can!’ All things are possible for those who believe.”

Prayer
Father, because you are my God, bring your kingdom today. Especially be with my children that they may know you face to face and not second hand. Let them find you as their God. Amen.

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Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father-and-son team from Massachusetts who together compete just about continuously in marathon races. Read more of their story.

Scripture

“I have singled [Abraham] out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.” Genesis 18:19

“So Lot rushed out to tell his daughter’s fiances, “Quick, get out of the city! The Lord is about to destroy it.” But the young men thought he was only joking.” Genesis 19:14

Observation

I am journaling today with a friend. He opened his journal and pulled from it a card written by his son. It was a moving tribute to a man who has invested not just time camping, hunting, and fishing with his son but also given him the indelible example of a man of God. Of all of his life possessions I would suspect that card would be one of his most valued, for what greater thing can a man leave behind him than a son to follow the Lord as he has?

Abraham’s name is a household word today not for the great pyramids he built or the wealth he had. He is etched into history because of the son he raised to fear the Lord. All history has been changed through that one boy. Abraham was “singled out” to direct his son. Fathering was not to be a passive thing to leave his boy to stumble into life to make it up anyway that he liked. Abraham was to take authority to make the fear of God grow deep in his son’s heart. God has given fathers authority that is often pushed aside as dad picks up the remote and flicks through the channels. A dad’s authority is time, attention, corrective words, and powerful example. When used well fathering makes an eternal difference.

Lot’s name, however, is not a household word today. We remember only his wife who couldn’t let go of the good life to follow after God and became a statue in the desert. When the moment of emergency decision came, the sons-in-law in his household only laughed at Lot. Were they used to the old man joking around about everything in life? Was Lot a man who was afraid to be serious about the significant? Obviously so. Lot could not marshall his family out the front door in a time of disaster, so poor was his leadership at home. His story ends dismally with more compromise, drunkenness and incest.

Application

God has given to me a responsibility for my sons to get them started in the groove God has for their lives. Like an old vinyl record, there is a track God has chosen for them. My job is to place the needle in the right place so that their life-song can play for the Lord. I can’t be afraid of that responsibility. Fun is important in my home, but if my sons are to amount to anything they need to know what is worth being serious about.

Prayer Father, make me a better dad today. Amen.

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Scripture
But soon it was time for the Jewish Festival of Shelters, and Jesus’ brothers said to him, “Leave here and go to Judea, where your followers can see your miracles! You can’t become famous if you hide like this! If you can do such wonderful things, show yourself to the world!” For even his brothers didn’t believe in him.

Jesus replied, “Now is not the right time for me to go, but you can go anytime. The world can’t hate you, but it does hate me because I accuse it of doing evil. You go on. I’m not going to this festival, because my time has not yet come.” John 7:2-8

Observation
When my kids were little one of my favorite books to read to them were the stories of the Berenstain Bears. They were just an average furry family of four living in the hectic woods, and so they escaped to the wilderness for holidays. It was to be an idyllic week in the woods but there was a leaky roof, empty fishing lines and other inconveniences not in the travel brochure. The Berestains went home frankly like bears with sore heads, until the pictures arrived. What the remembered most from their vacation were not the pictures fit for a brochure, but the memories of all of the inconveniences.

This story of Jesus could also be called, “Too Much Vacation.” This account of Jesus’ tiff with his family was written into the Bible years after the very brother who had doubted Jesus became the head pastor of the biggest church. James, Jude (who himself went to write part of the Bible) and a few others had an agenda for Jesus, but Jesus had other plans.

It was holiday time, in fact it was THE holiday. The Feast of Tabernacles season was like our current Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years trifecta. Everyone looked forward to the autumn festivals. In fact the rabbis said it was a sin not to be happy at that time of year. But holidays accordion families into the tight confines of dinners, grandma’s house and road trips. Mary and Joseph’s kids were now grown with minds of their own. It was tug-o-war time in Nazareth as they tried as adults to live as if they were still children.

We have to read this story with a long term view. Years later I’m sure that James and Jude remembered this episode with a smirk. Jesus was obviously right and they were, well, just jealous brothers. What brought this family squabble to a happy ending was Jesus’ choice to listen to his heavenly Father rather than to the gossip of his siblings. That choice of Jesus to what God expected of him made all the difference. There was overwhelming pressure on Jesus to live up to their expectations.

But in the midst of all of the family murmurings Jesus could still hear his Father’s voice. He had to make this trip to Jerusalem alone that year. It would be like skipping Christmas dinner at mom’s house if that had been the rule for a thousand years. Jesus could hear the Father’s voice because he did not live with his adult brothers and sisters as if they were still children, but instead behaved like an adult and followed God’s direction for his life.

There must come a point in our maturity where God’s voice matters more than any other voice, even those that we love. Part of maturity is transferring from our earthly father’s house to our Heavenly Father’s house. It started for Jesus in the temple at age 12. It came into full focus while the family was packing for vacation. Listening to the Father first will not necessarily make the family happy…at first. But clarity comes when we play for an audience of one and live by his time schedule.

This story has a happy ending. James, Jude and even Mary herself had a 180 degree turn in their understanding of Jesus. It would never have happened if Jesus had toddled off to do what he had always done just to keep everyone quiet. Jesus had the courage to take an adult course of God’s direction for his life. That choice God could use in the future of his family.

Application
Christmas season is a little like the story of the Berestains and Joseph’s family. The joy of the season can short circuit with the reality of being together. When grown siblings attempt to direct life as if they were still living as children there is bound to be conflict. James and Jude later found the joy of releasing their brother to God’s plan, but first Jesus had to make that choice for himself. Our Christmases will be bright when we do what is right in God’s sight first. That has the greatest chance of long term happiness.

Prayer
Father, let my Christmas be blest this year. It’s the first in years and years that we will all be together. Help us to enjoy the uniqueness of the call you have for each and to bless that. And grant to each of us the courage to walk on as best we understand you. Amen.

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I built this diningroom table for our first house. We had hundreds of happy family meals around it.

Scripture
Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you. 2 Corinthians 13:11

Observation
There are some homes that the front door opens into idyllic peace. There are other houses where it seems lightning is about to strike. My wife, who is the veteran of four church nurseries over the past 25 years, can detect the homes with unhappy marriages by the way children play. Every house has an atmosphere that is generated by the people living in it.

How can we create a good climate in our homes? Paul gives three operative words: encouragement, harmony and peace. If we need any evidence of how well these words work, just think of homes filled with the opposite: sarcasm, discord and strife. It’s obvious these words work.

Encouragement: that starts with a deliberate choice to say “good morning” with a smile and hug and tailgates through the day to back family up with constructive words. Yesterday my wife said one uplifting sentence about my work well that gave me 10 hours of enthusiasm. Every man needs a cheerleader, but he won’t have one unless he regularly dates the woman on the sidelines.

Harmony: that is the choice to fit into the relationships around me. If I’m angry I may want to play off key or sing another song all together. We call disharmony argument, strife, independence, etc. Harmony is my choice to blend into my family and bring the most out of the people around me. It starts by listening when I want to talk or get to work. It extends by helping those around me achieve their hopes for the day while on the way to my own. It is built on respect and service.

Peace: this word suggests an end of conflict but there is a positive side that is often overlooked. Peace is not just the absence of war but the presence of good relationships. The first is obviously with Christ. When he is in the home there is a deep contentment. But peace is the choice to be together in love. Peace starts with the simple act of eating at least one meal together each day. The microwave is endangering the home not with radiation but with a convenience that allows everyone to eat on their own schedule. Where is the family dinner table in contemporary homes? Peace comes when I chose to stop what I’m doing, adjust my schedule, sit down with those I love, show interest in their world and do what we all love best…eating and laughing. Peace is the result of presence.

The reward for doing these three things is that our heavenly Father shows up at the door with love and peace.
Prayer
Father, I want today more than every to have a home filled with encouragement, harmony and peace. My home is great but I want it even better. Show me how to be secretively deliberate about this today. Amen.

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It was 1965 and this was my family. I’m the little guy on the right. Our family spanned the babyboom. My oldest brother was born in 1946 and me at the end in 1961. My sister doesn’t look very happy because she got in trouble for not standing still for the picture. � Doesn’t my Dad look like a rich man?

Scripture
How joyful are those who fear the Lord—
all who follow his ways!
You will enjoy the fruit of your labor.
How joyful and prosperous you will be!
Your wife will be like a fruitful grapevine,
flourishing within your home.
Your children will be like vigorous young olive trees
as they sit around your table.
That is the Lord’s blessing
for those who fear him.

May the Lord continually bless you from Zion.
May you see Jerusalem prosper as long as you live.
May you live to enjoy your grandchildren.
May Israel have peace! Psalm 128:1-6

Observation
Where are the great rewards found in life? Frequent flyer points? Maybe on the Dow Jones? Or how about Vegas? Nope. Not in any of those places. The world’s greatest reward is not found around the kitchen table with dad at the head, mom wiping spaghetti up from under the high chair, milk drizzling through a the crack in the middle of the table and lots of giggles hemming the edges. Relationships at home are the greatest treasure of life and children are a sign of prosperity.

For the first time in US history the number of nuclear families has dropped below 25 per cent of the population. Nonetheless the word of God is still stands true. The greatest blessing God can give in this life

to a man is his wife

and to a woman is her husband

and to husband and wife are children.

I’m glad that I was born before the microwave replaced the fireplace in the home. My mom planned her meal menu a month in advance and stocked her pantry and freezer with parts of the meal not packages. Mealtime was an event. Our plate always included meat, a green vegetable, a yellow one and salad. Desert followed like clockwork as did family prayers. My mom worked a full-time job to help keep five children fed and my brother in college. How she managed these productions without a microwave I’ll never know. But what an investment she made in our souls as well as our bodies. Those thirty minutes around the maple kitchen table followed by another 30 minutes around the kitchen sink hold the happiest memories of my life. Meal time was the cabinet meeting of our family. My folks weren’t rich but they were wealthy. Their nest eggs smiled at them every night as they dangled their little feet around the table.

I’ve been coaching my son through the process of buying his first home. He and his wife have scrimped and saved for a deposit, but the escalating cost of homes keeps eluding their grasp. Here’s what I told him. What matters most is not the house but the people in it. So God can delay things to get the family ready to move in. The proof of that the family matters more than the house is that in future years you will lose touch of homes that you own, but you will always want to keep in touch with your children. I’ve owned three houses, but I don’t phone their current owners to see how the water heater is holding up or if the pool is clean. Those homes served their season and are now memories. But I phone my children nearly every day, though we are scattered across 10,000 miles from one another. My children not my houses are my reward. I told my son, “Give God time to build what matters and dare to believe that he wants you to have a home more than you do. Just give him time.”

Application
How can we see this blessing delivered in microwave families? Listen to this advice:

How joyful are those who fear the Lord…

May the Lord continually bless you from Zion.

To inherit God’s richest blessings we need to do two things:

First fear the Lord. Remember that one of the prime mandates of being a parent is not to be popular. Our goal is not to keep our children happy. A happy home will come when we become more concerned with what God thinks than with what the neighbor’s kids are doing.

Second stay close to God’s people. God blesses families out of Zion the city of God. The city of God is the local church. The closer we stay to the fellowship of believers the nearer we come to the way God blesses families. It takes more than a whole village to raise a child, it takes a whole and healthy local church.

Prayer
Father, I want to see your blessing around my table. My kids are starting to scatter. It’s good because they are starting to take root and flourish where you have placed them. But I do ask for moments when you fulfill this promise and gather them all around our table in our home. I cannot imagine any reward greater than that. Amen.

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