Scripture
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children. Genesis 29:35

Observation
It’s not clear what was wrong with Leah’s eyes. Most translations describe them as “weak”. I’ve read the opinions of many experts, both rabbis and pastors. The jury is out whether she was cross-eyed, near-sighted or just a cry baby. The original word for “weak” implies tenderness and softness. Perhaps Rachel had fiery, sexy eyes that got Jacob’s hormones flowing. Maybe Leah was too much the sentimental, sniffling chick-flick watcher to turn him on. Whatever it was about Leah, she knew that she did not measure up to Jacob’s expectations. She just wasn’t good enough to be loved.

For a season, long enough to have three children, Leah tried to win her husband’s approval by doing the one thing she could do well: make babies. She pumped out Reuben, Simeon and Levi, but nothing changed in her marriage. Jacob was still frosty towards her and hot toward Rachel.

It is not easy to live with the dislike of others, especially someone as close as a husband or a wife. We want to be loved. We want to be wanted. We want the perfect life. We are in love with ideals. We’ll do anything to receive the love of another. “How do you want me to behave?” we ask. Then we contour our life to please others. Leah went to ridiculous lengths to give birth to a football team full of boys just to make her husband love her and still came up as just a background person to Jacob.

There are some people who are afraid to be alone. Some men have to have a woman. Some women have to have a man. I heard Dr. Laura confront a woman who went from abusive relationship to abusive relationship. “Just leave him!” she shrieked over the radio. A frightened voice came over the airwaves, “But what would I do then? I would be alone!”

With her fourth baby, Leah shows us a better way than addiction to the approval of others. She accepted that nothing would change about Jacob, but everything could change about her. Her husband might never love her, but in God’s eyes she was highly esteemed. She called her son Praise (Judah), and filled her emptiness for a man’s love with the praise for the God who loved her.

Application
Sometimes when our desperate prayers are not answered we need to ask God to change us rather than to change our situation. Leah would never have the affection of Jacob, but she could have an intimate relationship with the God of Jacob. So what if I have weak eyes! The approval of others may never come, I may not live up to expectations, but I can rest in the unconditional acceptance of the Lord.

Prayer
Father, I lose myself in praise for you. Worship is the invitation to be joyful without earthly reason and to be enveloped with the cloud of delight that surrounds you. In praising you I join the festivities that are already happening for you in heaven. You are the most self-assured, joyful being in the universe. I take delight in you and with you. Today Father, I ask you to be my praise. Amen.